Who's Afraid Of The Girl Scouts?

In his column, “Be Afraid; Be Very Afraid,” Leonard Pitts Jr. revisits the story of Bob Morris — the Indiana politician who’s terrified of radicalized, feminist girl scouts:

Bob Morris is scared of Girl Scouts.

If you are waiting for the punch line, sorry, but there isn’t one. Morris, an Indiana state legislator, recently attacked the Scouts in a letter to his colleagues urging them to vote down a nonbinding resolution honoring the group on its centennial. There has never been a safer, more plain vanilla measure in the history of American politics, but Morris felt the need to warn fellow legislators of the organization’s corrupting influence. The Girl Scouts, he wrote, is the “tactical arm” of Planned Parenthood. He called it a “radicalized” group with a homosexual agenda that promotes abortion while seeking “the destruction of traditional American values.”

That’s a lot to lay on little girls whose mission in life seems to be the selling of Thin Mints outside the supermarket. But Morris has what he considers sound reasons for believing them a threat. He says he did “a small amount” of online research that revealed to him the true nature of these terroristic cookie pimps.

And as everyone knows, if you read it on the web, it has to be true, right?

Sigh.

Thus does social conservatism skid through the last barriers of basic intellect, simple decency and common sense, hurtling breakneck off the deep end. Next stop: utter incoherence.